I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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