Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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