Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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