Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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