My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
