Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
