Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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