You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
