Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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