You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
