i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
