Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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