i don't like sucking hair
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
