I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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