I'm gonna have a badass scar
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
