i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
