I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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