First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
