just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
