It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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