No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
