I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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