Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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