I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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