My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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