so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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