Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
