He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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