If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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