I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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