Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize