Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize