Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
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I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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