Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can you bring me the toilet please
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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