You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
