Don't you send me to vm
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
