Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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