it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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