I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
