Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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