4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
