I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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