new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
