paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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