she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize