Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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