y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
