I think I am morally bankrupt
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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