Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
