omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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