i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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