You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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