just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
