So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
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I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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