Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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