They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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