im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I had to cum in my sink.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
