There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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