She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
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This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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