i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
