We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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